tl;dr:"Inflicting help" occurs when you fail to provide the type of help that's been requested of you e.g. you provide the right help but at the wrong time, you help "too much", or provide the wrong type of help altogether. "It's essential to understand and regulate the emotions that underlie our helping impulse." Ed recommends slowing down and asking whether if what "I'm doing is actually what's been requested."
tl;dr:We assume attitude drives behavior but, in fact, our behavior also shifts our attitude. A misalignment of behavior and attitude i.e. you should do something but don't feel like it results in cognitive dissonance. Ed outlines strategies to counter this (meditation, journaling, etc...) but states they should come from a sense of authenticity and agency.
tl;dr:"Emotions can't be controlled, but they can be regulated." Regulation is not control or suppression, it's our ability to sense, comprehend, articulate and express what we're feeling. Helpful tools to regulate emotions are meditation, exercise, sleep, stress-reduction.
tl;dr:Despite Ed not liking the war parallel, that's the feeling of everyone's current situation. It's critical for managers to get the "support you need, invest in self-care, and making the time to think." Trust between you and your reports will be a defining factors.